Fundamental keys to the practice of happiness

Scris de 
Leo Radutz
 in data de 
text de 
13 minute
Scris de 
Leo Radutz
 in data de 
 - text de 
13 minute


Fundamental keys to the practice of happiness
Happiness is not an emotion, nor a feeling. It is a state – a complex state of being.
Tons of treatises, papers and articles have been written about happiness, some psychological, some metaphysical, and some literary.
No one teaches us at school how to be happy, although this could be the priority subject, more important even than mathematics and mother tongue!
If we read the serene considerations about happiness in the above-called treaties, they only deepen our frustration of being away from this state, specific to a paradise from which we feel irretrievably fallen.

1. The first key to happiness:

It compares us only to ourselves, we surpass only ourselves!

In fact, this is the main ingedient of humility - Vinaya Mudra - not to compare yourself to anyone else but to seek to overcome yourself always, without self-independence.

At the same time, it is rightly said that "Comparison is the thief of joy!".

We're unique, anyway.
We live in a society sick of comparisons. The promoters of beauty models, of models of social success, feed on our desire to enter a certain standard.
There are no beautiful women or ugly women.

There are admirable souls and dead souls.
Even the silent smile of a child with Down syndrome can teach us something, for example, the power to love without conditions and expectations...
When we stop comparing ourselves to others, we will suppress any suffering related to how we look, how smart we are, how gifted or talented or appreciated we are.
Automatically, our soul will turn to itself, and will discover, with amazement and delight, the beauty in it!
We are truly unique, and deserve to celebrate our uniqueness!

Sometimes we suffer. A man leaves one woman for another, another colleague is promoted to a position we wanted, the audience applauds louder the contestant after us...

We don't have to follow the tendency to compare.
Certain lessons are also learned through the lesson of humility, that of perseverance or self-confidence (there may be others!).

Whenever we tend to compare ourselves to others, we lie down in our hearts for envy, jealousy, bitterness, self-distrust, or vain ambition.
You do not need all these poisons.

The mere acceptance of ourselves, as we are, will turn them into:
inner freedom to admire the uniqueness of the other, joy for his success, trust in your forces and a healthy tenacity.
We have treasures to give, so we do not waste any more time inventorying our "sins", and we move on to exploring our own hidden diamonds in our soul!

When we've found them, we're enjoying them and if we haven't found them, it's good and so, we don't need to have diamonds.

The self is golden and it is always like this - it just needs to be discovered by us!

Practical application:

We cultivate the habit of observing ourselves as closely as possible, almost at any time.

When we notice that states or emotions such as envy, jealousy, hatred, anger, bitterness, sadness, etc. appear, we look for the external stimulus that produced them:

have we compared ourselves to the others?

That was his chance. His way. Yours is still looking for you, waiting for you around a corner of the road, to surprise you.

If you go back, you may never have the opportunity to find what you're looking for....
Let us remember: no one can walk in our path and in our place, nor can we instead of another.

2. The second key to happiness: we are competing only with ourselves!

The social world is based on competitions, declared or masked. The consumer society has taught us to believe that no one is indispensable, that we can always be pushed aside. Things are not quite like that...
If there is any record to break, we do not do it to prove that we are better than others, but to prove to ourselves that we can!

It makes absolutely no difference what achievements the other has. He has his way, we have ours. We don't know how many times the other one fell, until he crossed the "finish line" in full force.
Just as he does not know the turmoil of our soul either. We better evaluate ourselves. Could we have done more? How could we proceed to optimize our actions?

Any victory, no matter how small, over our own limits will increase our confidence in you, and will fill our soul with much enthusiasm and joy! We win step by step, every meter of the road of your life. We cannot live in the shoes of another, but we can become the number 1 specialist in our own way of living!

Practical application:

Observe your inner reactions to another person's success, especially if you were hoping to be you in their shoes.
How do you feel? Joy, admiration, or envy, annoyance? Think about it right away: what level were you at when you started that action? What have you accomplished in the same time? If you have advanced from what you were, knew or were doing, it means that you have achieved success.
This will be the brick on which another success will be placed, and so on, until the edifice of the value of your deeds is seen and admired by all!
Focus your attention, without ceasing, on your own steps, and you will find with surprise that you will value more the successes of those around you!

3. The third key to happiness: Whatever you do, do it with love, with pleasure!

It is said that "it doesn't matter what you do, but how you do" something.
The best doctor will not seek the constant companionship of the weakest doctor, but he will appreciate the advice of the best auto mechanic, will choose the dishes prepared by the best cook and will buy tickets to the match of the best athlete.
The state of excellence is cultivated, and if we get used to being impeccable, we will be so in any field! The condition is that we like what we do.
There is no point in demonstrating to others out of vain ambition that we can play the violin at Paganini, if we are, afoni!
Instead, we can focus on our own talents, skills, inclinations, passions.... If the main activity in our lives is something that we like, then we will gladly participate in certain more "boring" tasks.
After a successful party with friends, you can wash the dishes and derelict with a joyful heart!

Practical application:

Take a sheet of white paper, and divide it into two columns; pass in the one on the left all your talents, skills and inclinations (reading, writing, drawing or painting, singing, sports, growing flowers, cooking, sewing, repairing machines, etc.).
The column on the right is reserved for activities that you would love to carry out, in order to earn a living or in your free time.
Then, write down below each activity: next to it, you can write down: what do you need to do it? How much time do you need?
Do you think you possess the knowledge and skills to do that? What results do you expect from that activity of yours?
Finally, establish a hierarchy of priorities so that you can clearly see which activity is more important and urgent, and therefore to which you need to direct your immediate efforts.

4. The fourth key to happiness: Live the present moment to the fullest, but broadly schedule your future!

The past cannot be returned, and the future has not yet been born, being only a sum of possibilities.
What we have is only the present moment. If we live in the past we predispose ourselves to morbid nostalgia and depression.
If we always project ourselves into the future, we reach an illusory life, full of expectations, anxiety and chimeras.
On the contrary, focusing on "here and now" brings us balance and physical and mental health.
The present is the greatest healer, the best counselor and the closest friend. The gift of the present is invaluable!
To be in the Present is to give up subterfuge, to always be attentive and to cherish what you do now. Of course, sometimes the present is harsh.
Whenever we feel unhappy in the Present, this is a signal that the time has come to learn something from the Past or to make plans for the Future.

Practical application:

Get used to always paying attention to the present moment: where you are now, what you do, how you feel, who you are with, etc.
Pay attention to even the smallest details of your present actions, as if they were a gift for a loved one.
When you are faced with an unpleasant situation in the Present, think of the Past. Analyzes similar situations, or that have led to similar states.
Learn something valuable from the past, then use those conclusions to improve the present.

No one can control the Future. But the more you plan what you want to happen in the future, the more reassuring the Present becomes and the less angoasant Future becomes.
So, get used to planning certain actions from the future, and move into the Present to apply the first steps that will lead you to where you want to go. Success begins in the Present!

5. The fifth key to happiness: Take care of all sides of your life: give yourself time to work, have fun, rest, learn something new, create and enjoy!

  • Usually, people base their appreciation for themselves on the words and appreciations of others.
    We all need love, appreciation and appreciation of those around us. If others tell us words of praise for our work, we tend to identify with it, because it makes us feel valued, therefore loved and appreciated.
    If we are, endowed with a pleasant physical appearance, we feed our soul and self-image with the appreciations of others related to how we look.
    We get to feel good especially at parties, in public, wherever we can be admired for our body and face.
    Finally, if we do not excel at work, but we have a hobby in which we are "strong" (we sing in our free time, write poems or play theater in an amateur band, etc.), these will become the motivating activities of our lives.
    In reality, in order to be perfectly balanced and fulfilled as a personality, we need to fulfill ALL aspects of our lives:
    - to have a job that we like and brings us satisfactions, both material and professional, affective, etc.;
    - to have a fulfilling family and social relations, friends, people to mirror and support us in the evolution of our lives;
    - we need to continuously express and polish our talents, passions, etc.; we need rest and fun, moments of solitude and moments spent in the middle of the world, intellectual and manual activity.
    Nothing should be neglected, for everything we overlook will one day come to the surface, and will return to take revenge...

Practical application:

Write on a piece of paper all aspects of your life:
profession, family, social relationships, skills and talents, hobbies, fun, rest, physical movement, spiritual cultivation (concern for the high aspects of your being, your relation to God or to a divine principle).
Then, give grades from 1 to 10 to each field (1 meaning you haven't been concerned about it at all in the last three months, and 10 meaning your total attention to that area of life).
See what are the weakest sides of your life, with scores below six. Next to each one, note a few remedial measures: what do you think you could do to increase the score of that area?

6. The sixth key to happiness: Love the wonderful being that you are!

We are born out of love, with love and for love. This is the highest motivation of our actions. No being on Earth can survive without the love of someone, at least one being around him. From a young age we are taught to receive the love of those around us (if we are born and grow up in a normal, mentally healthy environment), and also from a young age we are conditioned to receive love only if we do certain things, we say certain phrases, we behave in a certain way... Later, unconsciously, we repeat this model of social and family obedience. We are ready to do anything to be loved, respected, and appreciated. If we do not receive these gratifications of others, we feel that we do not deserve to live, that we are worthless! We always forget that the only being with whom we will live our entire life is ourselves!

No one teaches us that the most precious love is the one we give ourselves. Those around us are nothing but reflections of our inner attitude. Their love gives us the measure of the care and affection we cherish for ourselves. The subject is far too broad to be exhausted here, as this article aims only to point out the milestones of our path to the condition of the happy one. But it is worth resorting as often as possible to the following exercises:

Practical application:

a. Every day, in the morning, when you look in the mirror, he speaks mentally, with great affection: "I love you!", to your image. Notice how you feel when you do this. Persevere, no matter how strange this exercise may seem to you, until you truly feel love for yourself.

b. Make a joy every day: buy yourself something you like (a cake, a garment, a magazine, etc.); or phone a loved one, or go out to a movie in the city with a good friend, etc. Don't let a day go by without giving yourself a small gift!

c. Always take care of the child in you. In every man there is a child side - it is the one that manifests spontaneously, enjoys, makes whispers, gives us authenticity. It is also the most vulnerable, the most sensitive. Close your eyes and imagine that child in your being. Imagine taking him in your arms, comforting him and giving him all the love he needs. Ask him for forgiveness for all moments of suffering, and give him the assurance that your love for him will endure forever. Finally, thank them for all the moments of joy, for the surprises and little follies that he urged you to do throughout your life, and which were the "salt and pepper" of your existence.

d. Always make sure, daily, that your needs of any kind are met. Don't neglect yourself! Keep your body in shape through regular exercise; adopt a healthy diet; respect your rest periods, dose your efforts; do not hesitate to seek and ask for what you need; spend time with friends, family, loved ones, and feed your soul with their presence; always learn something new, cultivate your positive emotions and elevated feelings; seek a spiritual path that suits you, and thus establishes a framework conducive to the development of an ever closer relationship with God.

is. Show a daily attitude full of gratitude for what you receive. Eventually, address every night, at bedtime, a short prayer of thanksgiving for all that you received that day.

7. The seventh key to happiness: Transfigure your fellows incessantly!

We all have lights and shadows. There is no particular merit in sensing the bright parts of someone, and praising them.
Much more meritorious is the ability to identify the gift behind each shadow, to alchemize an apparent shortcoming of a being, in a beneficial feature of its own.
There is ample evidence in modern psychology that supports the fact that the way we relate to a particular being will arouse in it exactly what we expect to see in it.
If we choose to see the good in this, in a quasi-unconscious way, that being will manifest to us the good in it.
If we approach that being with suspicion and criticism of her various characteristics, she will tend to communicate with us by manifesting exactly these "shadows" of hers.
In each of us there is something great, something unique and admirable. Of course, it is hard to see this light at every moment, especially in those who choose to adopt a negatively oriented behavior more often.
But beyond the objectivity with which we appreciate the good and bad sides of someone, it is important to credit human beings with the potential that they certainly have, and which, through the goodwill and support of their fellow human beings, they can bring to light.
It is not a question of seeing the good where it is not, but of seeing the diamond that can emerge from the uncooled conglomerate of rock that can make up the external manifestation of a person.

Practical application:

Every day, aim to discover at least a hidden quality of every person you come in contact with – at home, at work, on the street, in society.
Pay attention especially to those with whom you do not have very good relations, to those you detest or criticize, about whom you do not have a very good opinion.
Propose to notice at least a beneficial quality of them, and then evoke this light in them, whenever you communicate with these people.
Also look at how you feel once you adopt this attitude.
You may be surprised how relieved your soul will be, how open and resentful... for with the refinement of the perspective on the other, on the whole world, it is your soul that will purify itself, it will ascend with each day more and more...

8. The eighth key to happiness: Be the master of your desires, and the artisan of your own life!

Do not let desires enslave you, growing to the size of passions or obsessions. There are desires and longings arising out of necessities, and which are natural to be satisfied. But there are still artificial desires, aroused by the temptations of the consumer society. In reality, the human being does not need two houses, three cars and countless items of clothing to live fulfilled. Nor does the complete denial of the importance of material goods help us any more... Far from advocating austerity, we want to support the cause of balance and harmony in all sides of our existence. It is essential to nurture those desires of the soul that, once fulfilled, would help the soul to grow, refine, mature and reach a dimension as spiritual as possible.

We are what we think we are. More precisely, as we aim to be, that's what we become. Therefore, let's aim as high as possible, as far away as possible, in the elevation of our soul and being.

Practical application:

Put on a sheet of paper all your desires and longings from this period, possibly classified:
those on the material, social, professional, relational, spiritual, etc. level.
Analyze them carefully and lucidly, and identify those real desires, which come from a deep need of the soul, and those artificially induced desires, which constitute more of some whims induced by the world in which we live.
Select the first ones, and imagine daily, for a few minutes, what you would be like if they were fulfilled: imagine enjoying the house you wanted, the car you needed and wanted, imagine the moments of happy intimacy with the partner (a) you wanted, mentally create the framework in which you work, with joy, at the service you yearned for.
Cultivate in your being a state of deep contentment and gratitude for what you have received, and remember the words of our great spiritual guide, Jesus: "
When you ask for something, you think you have already received that thing

9. The Ninth Key to Happiness: Establish a Deep Relationship with God!

Regardless of our religious orientation, of the spiritual convictions that we have, it is obvious that the world in which we live is the creation of an unlimited consciousness, which infuses all created beings and things. This consciousness mysteriously animates every creature, and represents our most intimate connection with the Creator. To deny or neglect this subtle connection to the eternal principle within us is tantamount to breaking away from the source of our authentic life, which allows us to develop our soul and achieve the perfection of our being.

Practical application:

Every day, give yourself at least 15 minutes in which, sitting comfortably in a quiet and pleasant place, away from noises or external stimuli, you can orient your attention to your own being.
Close your eyes, breathe deeply and relax as much as possible, both physically and mentally. Then, gently but firmly direct your attention to the area in the center of the chest, which shelters, in reality, the gate of communication with the dimensions of the Divine within us.
Just observe what's going on, without interfering with your mind.
Then, if you feel the need to mentally formulate a question about one aspect of your life, you can ask the Creator, to God, and you can wait, in a silence imbued with attention, for the answer to be reflected, in one form or another, in that area in the center of your chest, in your spiritual Heart.
This simple exercise is a first form of meditation that, practiced with perseverance, can lead you to elevated, deeply spiritual forged states.

And the list of fundamental keys to living the condition of a happy being is not over! These and many more we can find out by practicing Abheda Yoga, Yoga in the middle of life.

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