There are numerous books that teach us how to become the most authentic version of ourselves. We go as deep as possible to understand our needs, desires and longings. We become open to explore ways like meditation and yoga when we believe that they can give us the potential to find our peace.
But if we really want to grow and evolve in our journey, the most useful help we can get from our personal relationships.
Those who are closest to us (and especially our relationships with these people) are the most valuable teachers in our lives.
Each of our relationships strongly reflects those parts of us that are happy, compassionate – but also those parts that need growth and evolution. It is as if, each of those we love has been deliberately placed in our lives, to be with us, to give us the opportunity to reach our true potential, and to achieve our purpose for which we are here on this earth.
The most important gift in our lives is that of love. Perhaps this explains why parents or family members, husband, wife, children or relatives and friends, can be the most difficult people in our lives, challenging our ability to offer love, even though they are the closest to us.
And that is why most of those with whom we spend the most time, have a profound impact on our happiness and even inspire or challenge us in our spiritual evolution.
Take, for example, the difficult relationships that many people have with one of the parents. A person may consider his father to be too authoritarian, critical and stubborn. But all these characteristics that infuriate her as far as she is concerned, are actually her own traits, which she does not want to assume.
The moment he recognizes and heals the vast majority of the critical parts of her, her father’s judgments and criticisms magically disappear. The interactions between the two become much easier, smoother and more authentic. The Father – and especially the relationship with him and the evolution of this relationship – may arise to us that the things that upset us the most in others are actually aspects of ourselves that we are not yet ready to recognize and assume.
Let’s take other examples now – relationships with an ex-husband, or the relationship with the church (“relationships” do not necessarily refer to relationships with one person, but also to relationships with the community). Both can teach us that there are certain relationships that can unwittingly hinder our own growth.
A man who betrays you in love, when you have a wide open heart, can teach you that when you really like someone, you don’t have to forcibly keep him by your side, even if it might hurt.
Your best friend can teach you a lot about yourself and your soul-level connections. A friendship can teach you that only when we accept and forgive ourselves can we accept and forgive anyone else.
From your husband you can learn that in a couple relationship, only through honesty and vulnerability you can gain greater intimacy and love.
Everyone in our lives has the role of spiritual teachers. Their purpose is to reveal parts of ourselves that we unconsciously hold in the shadows. They are there to help us open ourselves up to a greater depth of the truths of existence. Even those who hurt us, appear in our lives because they are the only ones who can teach us those specific lessons, and that only in this way we could receive, because most of the time, we learn better from painful experiences than through those full of joy.
Our spiritual teachers are there to help us awaken, recognize, and understand our true nature, to bring us to the center of our being, and to evolve further in the journey of our souls. Who could help us more on this journey than those who are closest to us?
There is something divine in all of this. So, while you spend time with your family, during the holidays and you start to feel irritated, identify the source of that irritation, look in the mirror, and see what you are unconsciously hiding.
As you reflect on the year that has just passed and realize that you still have a wound that you carry with you, see if you can identify the person who caused it to you and what they taught you. What do you know now about yourself, and you didn’t know before?
If you set out to create more loving relationships in the year that has just begun, go back inside yourself and ask yourself: “Am I willing to think about these relationships in a different way or to see a deeper truth in order to have more love in my life?”
The article also appeared translated here: http://viataverdeviu.ro/de-ce-relatiile-chiar-si-cele-nefericite-duc-la-cresterea-si-dezvoltarea-noastra-spirituala/