Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt – “Oscar and Auntie Pink”

Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt – “Oscar and the Pink Aunts”

Death is just a passage.
It is not death, but only the illusion of people who believe that there is an end. In reality, no matter how hard someone tries, no matter how consistent they are, they would find that they cannot die.
He would also find that he still exists, just like in the case of a computer game in which, no matter how many “lives” we lose, our character can start the game again and again, the only thing he would lose would be the “score” or the “score”, the in-game equivalent of notions of karma.
……………………………………….
In the following story, a little boy sick with leukemia faces with much natural and wisdom the disease and the passage called on earth dead, which is, in fact, an irreversible abandonment of that physical body and a continuation of existence in the new conditions.

The child, named Oskar, lives these moments with a lot of naturalness and flavor, being helped and guided by a woman from the body of nurses called “Pink Auntie”.

His story is very beautiful, strengthens us inside and reads with pleasure.

”

“Dear God,
my name is Oscar, I’m ten years old,
I set fire to the cat, the dog and the house (I think even the red fish in the jar were
fried), and
this is the first letter I’m sending you, because
so far I haven’t had time because of school.
You should know from the beginning that I don’t like to
write, I do it only when I am forced. Writing is
nothing but smiling, slapping, embellishment
, etc. Nice lie. Something for grown-ups
, that is.
The proof? Look only at the beginning
to my letter: “My name is Oscar, I have
ten years, I set fire to the cat, the dog and the house (I think
that even the red fish in the jar were fried),
And this is the first letter I send you
because so far I haven’t had time because of
when I could just as well have said:
“I’m called Egghead, I’m ten years old, but I look like
a seven-year-old, I live in the hospital because I have
cancer and if I’ve never talked to you it’s
because I don’t even think you exist”.
But if I had written to you like that, not only
would it suck, but you wouldn’t have bothered to take care of me anymore
. Or, you see, I really need
you to take care of yourself.
I would even say that it would
be damn good for me if you found the time to do me two
or three services.
Look, let me explain.
The hospital is a great nice place where
there are a lot of grown-ups who are always
cheerful and talking loudly,
with piles of toys and many pink aunts just
waiting to play with the children, and where
friends like Bacon, Einstein or Pop Corn
are at your fingertips at all times. What’s more, the
hospital is great provided that you are a patient who
pleases those around you.
Or, I don’t like them anymore. Since the
bone marrow transplant I can see that I don’t please anyone anymore
. In the morning when he examines me
, Dr. Düsseldorf seems to have
not the slightest reluctance, it is clear that he is
disappointed. He looks at me without saying a word,
as if I had wronged him with something. Now, you must know,
dear God, that I did my best
to the operation; I was as good as possible, I let
him fall asleep, I took all
my medicines and I didn’t even scream when it
hurt. There are days when I would still tell him from the
cheek that after all he, Dr
. Düsseldorf, with those black eyebrows of his, may
be to blame for not having the surgery. But, when I look at
his bitter face, it seems like I can’t feel it anymore and
all the reproaches stop in my throat. In fact, the more
Dr. Düsseldorf is silent, looking at me with his beaten dog’s
eyes, the more guilty I feel.
I realize that I am not a proper patient
, but one of those who prevents
people from believing that medicine is a formidable thing
.

And know that a doctor’s thoughts are
contagious. Now the whole floor looks at me with
the same eyes – the nurses, the residents, the
maids. They have a sad air when they see me being
cheerful, and when I tell a joke they force themselves to laugh.
Really, we don’t laugh anymore like we used to.
Only Aunt Pink has remained the same. She’s too
old, I say, to change. And she’s too
Aunt Pink for that. I think there’s no point in
introducing you to Aunt Rose, dear God, she’s a
friend of yours, since she told me to write to you
. The only problem would be that only I call
her that, Aunt Rose. But make an effort to
understand who it is: of all
the ladies in pink robes who come to the hospital to
take care of sick children, she is the oldest.
“How old are you, Aunt Rose?”
– Are you able to remember a number consisting
of thirteen digits, Oscar?
– It’s like I don’t know you’re joking, Aunt Rose!
– Not at all. But I don’t have to be here at any cost
, otherwise they’ll send me
home and we’ll
never see each other again.
– How so?
– I came here, to you, illicitly, Oscar, but don’t
tell me to anyone! There’s an age
limit for being a pink aunt, and I’ve overcome
it by a lot!
– Are you that mean expired?
– That’s the word!
– Like yogurt?
– Sttt!
– I know how to keep my mouth shut, don’t be afraid!
I think he has great courage to confess this secret to me
. It’s not that I’m
not a foundry either. I know how to keep a secret, although, to
be honest, I’m surprised that they didn’t
realize how old she is when they saw her
wrinkles like rays of sunshine around
her eyes.
Another time I found out another secret of hers and
I think that, if I tell you, it will be a piece of
cake to figure out who it is, dear
God.
One day, while we were both
walking through the hospital yard, Aunt Pink stepped on a
.
– Fucking shit!
– But what bad words you say, Aunt Pink!
“Hold on to your flank, little boy, and
spare me!” I talk the way I feel like it.
– Alas, Pink Auntie!
– That’s it! Move some of those cracies, because
we are for a walk, we don’t crawl like
snails!
– Shortly after that, we sat down on a
bench to eat candy, and I couldn’t
help but ask her:
– How is it, Aunt Rose, that you speak so
badly?
– Professional deformation, Oscar, boy.
With my job, if I had given myself to
a thinner vocabulary, I would mess it up.
– But what job did you have?
– If I tell you, you won’t believe me…
– I believe you. On my honor.
– Wresting fighter.
– I don’t believe you!
– I swear. They had nicknamed me the Terror of
Languedoc.
From that day, when she sees me darker
and is sure that there is no one around
to hear us, Aunt Pink tells me
about one of her famous matches:
The Terror of Languedoc against the Butcher of
Limousin, her fight for twenty years
against Sinclair Diabolica – a Dutch
woman who had a pair of shells instead of breasts – and
especially the world cup she won
facing Ulla-Ulla, also known as the of
Büchenwald, whom no one had managed
to defeat, not even the Iron Thighs, the idol of
Aunt Pink when she was still a young
wrestler. I often dream of these fights
of hers, imagining her in the ring as she is
now, an old woman in a pink dress, staggering
a little on her legs, punching
one of those kites in a tank top. And it’s like I’m
in her shoes. Which makes me feel stronger
. It’s like that, like a kind of revenge.
That being said, if after all
the details I have listed here, you
still haven’t managed to figure out who Aunt Pink is, I think,
dear God, that it would no longer be the case to remain
as God, but you would do better to retire
. I hope I’m clear enough?
But to go back to mine.
In short, my graft has caused a lot
of disappointment here. The chemotherapy they had done to me
before, too, but not that
big; there was still hope in the graft back then.
I have the impression that now the doctors don’t really
know what to propose, you also feel sorry for them. Doctor
Düsseldorf, whom my mother finds very
beautiful, although, in my opinion, those
eyebrows are too thick, has a sad face of
Santa Claus left without gifts in the quiver.
At the hospital, the atmosphere is getting uglier. I was even
talking to a friend, a few days ago, a ‘
Bacon. Actually, his name is Yves, not Bacon, but we
call him Bacon because it suits him better
because it’s still a burn from head to toe,
like fried ham.
“You know, Bacon, I have the impression that I
don’t really like these doctors anymore, you’d say they’re
depressed by my case.
“What are you doing, Egghead?” Doctors are
inexhaustible. They buzz their heads about
the surgeries they would like to have on you
. They have already proposed about six to me.
– Maybe you inspire them.
“Maybe.”
– What I don’t understand is why don’t I
honestly tell myself that I’m going to die?
As I said that, Bacon did as
everyone else in the hospital did: he was instantly deaf. In a
hospital, dear God, as soon as you
say the word “death,” no one hears you anymore. You can
be sure that there will be a gap of
air around you and everyone will compete
to change the word. We tested this on everyone
.
This morning I wanted to know if Aunt
Pink also gets loud if I talk to her about
death.
“I have the impression, Aunt Rose, that no one here
dares to tell me that I am going
to die.
He looks at me for a long time. Will she
do like the others? I beg you from the bottom of my heart, the Terror of
Languedoc, don’t flinch, keep your hearing.
– Well, what’s the point, Oscar, of being
told since you know it?
Phew, she at least heard me!
“You know, Aunt Rose, I have the impression that people
have invented a different kind of hospital than the
one that really exists. One in
which you pretend to come to heal yourself, when
you actually go there to die.
“You’re right, Oscar. And I think the same mistake is made
in terms
of life. We forget that it is fragile, tender,
ephemeral. We all act as
if we are immortal.
“My surgery didn’t work, didn’t it, Aunt
Rose?”
Aunt Pink did not answer. It was her way of
saying yes. When she was sure that I fully
understood, she approached me and said, begging me:

“Of course, you didn’t talk to me, I
didn’t tell you anything!” You swear, right?
– I swear.
We were both silent, and I ruminated on these new thoughts in
my mind.
– How about you write to God,
Oscar?
– Tell me something like
that, Aunt Rose, right?!
– How do you mean, just me?
– I thought you were the only person who
doesn’t lie.
“Well, I’m not lying to you at all,” Oscar.
“Then why are you talking to me about God?”
My parents fooled me with Santa Claus,
that’s it, enough!
– Find out from me, Oscar, that there is no
connection between God and Santa
Claus.
– Yes. It’s one and the same bluff.
Brainwashing and sucking as much as
it contains!
– Listen Oscar, can you imagine, even for
a second, that I, a former
wrestler, with one hundred
and sixty tournaments to my credit,
forty of which by knockout, I,
the Terror of Languedoc, could
believe in Santa Claus?
– No.
“Find out then, boy, that although I don’t believe in
Santa Claus, I do believe in God. I swear!

Put the problem in this way, of course, everything changes
.
– Be it. But why do you say I should write
to God?
– To make you feel less alone.
– Well, how can I feel less alone with
someone who doesn’t even exist?
– Make it exist.
He leans towards me.
“Every time you believe in him, there’s going
to be a little more. And if you hold on
tight, find out from me, it’s going to really exist
. And that’s going to do
you good.”
“And what would you like me to write to him about?”
– About anything. About your thoughts,
those which you tell no one, which
become oppressive, take root, burden you
, immobilize you; those
which, taking the place of renewing ideas, paralyze you
by grinding you from within.
If you don’t talk and just keep them in you, you’re going
to turn into the garbage dump of
old, smelly thoughts,
Oscar, boy.
– O.K.
“And then, you can ask
God for something every day.” But be careful, only
one thing a day! Only one.
“It’s not a big deal for this God
of yours, Aunt Rose.” Aladdin
could ask for three things from the
magic lamp.
– You’re talking stupid, Oscar. Isn’t one thing a day better
than three in a lifetime
?
– O.K. And you say I can ask him anything?
Toys, candy, a car…
“No, Oscar. God is not like Santa
Claus. You can only ask
of Him things of the spirit.
– For example?
– For example, to give you courage, patience, to
open your mind.
– yes, I understand…
– And you can also ask him for some
things for others.
– At the regime of one wish a day, wouldn’t you
just like me, Aunt Pink, to share it
now with others?
“Here, now you know how things are.
In this first letter I tried,
Dear God, let me describe a little bit of my
life here at the hospital, where everyone looks at me as an
obstacle to the development of medicine, and I would also like
to ask you if I am going to be cured
or not. All you have to do is cut the useless version.
You pup yourself. See you tomorrow, Oscar
P.S. I don’t know your address, what do I do?

Dear God,
Bravo! But I know you’re cool! I didn’t
even get to send you the letter, because you
gave me the answer. How did you do it?
I was playing chess this morning in the recreation room
with Einstein, when Pop Corn ran
to tell me:
“Your parents have come, Egghead.
“My parents?” How does that? They don’t come until
Sundays…
– I recognized their car, a red
Jeep with a white hood.
– Impossible.
I shrugged my shoulders and went back to the game
with Einstein. But as I was preoccupied, Einstein
kept taking a piece from me, which annoyed
me even worse. We call him Einstein, but not because
he is smarter than others, but only because
he has a head twice as big. It is said that it has
water inside. Too bad for him, if he had
a brain instead of all that defense, Einstein could have
done great things in life.
Seeing that I was losing the game anyway, I
got up and went to Pop Corn’s room that
overlooks the parking lot. He had been right, my
parents had come to see me.
You must know, dear God, that now
my parents and I live far away from
each other. When I lived with them I
didn’t realize it, but since I don’t live with them anymore,
I find that I stay very far away. That’s why she can
only come to see me once a week,
on Sundays, because she doesn’t work on Sundays, and
neither can I.
– Do you see that I was right? He said Popcorn.
What do you give me that I let you know?
– I have chocolate with hazelnuts if you want.
– You don’t have strawberry jellies anymore?
– No.
– Or, with hazelnuts, then.
Of course, we are not allowed to feed
Pop Corn, who is in
the hospital for that reason, to lose weight. Ninety-eight kilos at
his nine years, one meter and ten high by
one meter and ten wide! The only coat that
fits is an American polo shirt. It’s just that in this one too
, the stripes got into the tangaj, as if they were
seasick. To be honest, since neither I
nor any of our friends believe that
Popcorn could be anything other than fatty and as we feel
sorry to see it all the time, we give it all
the leftovers from the table. Honestly, what’s a piece of
chocolate compared to all that pile of fat?
Even the nurses stopped tormenting
him with the suppositories prescribed by the doctors.
I went to my room to wait for
my parents. At first I didn’t notice how
the minutes passed because I was a little tired, where
I had run. After a while, however, I realized
that he would have had time to reach me ten times.
I guessed at once where they were lingering so long. And
I slipped down the aisle. I waited for no one to see me
, I went down the stairs and, walking
slowly through the semi-darkness, I arrived at Dr
. Düsseldorf’s office.
I wasn’t wrong, they were there! I
could hear their voices on the other side of the door. As going
down the stairs had taken my breath away, it took
me a few seconds for my heart to beat normally again
and I can say that from that
moment everything went crazy. I heard what I shouldn’t have
heard. My mother was crying loudly, and
Dr. Düsseldorf kept repeating: “I have done
everything that could be done, please believe me, I have
tried everything”, to which my father replied in a
strangled voice: “We do not doubt, doctor, we do not
doubt”.
I was left with my ear glued to that
iron door. I don’t even know, to be honest, which was
colder, me or metal.
Dr. Düsseldorf said,
“Do you want to see him, to hug him?”
“I don’t have the courage, doctor,” replied
the mother.
“They don’t have to see us in this state,”
my father added.
And that’s when I understood that my
parents were cowards. Worse, some cowards who also took me
as a coward.
The noise of the chairs made me understand that
they had gotten up and were going to leave the office. I
also rushed through the first door that
came my way.
That’s how I ended up in the closet with
brooms where I spent the whole morning
because, which you may not know, dear
God, the broom closets open from the outside,
but not from the inside, as if people are
afraid that the brooms, buckets and wiping cloths
on the floor will take their feet overnight.
By the way, I didn’t mind
staying there in the dark, but since I still didn’t feel like
seeing anyone and my legs and arms didn’t respond to my
commands anyway, as a result of
the shock caused by what I had heard.
Around noon I felt a great commotion on
the floor above. Steps, running around.
Then my name began to resound
everywhere:
– Oscar! Oscar!
I was glad to hear them shout at me and I
didn’t answer. I would have liked the whole earth to
be worried about me.
I think I dozed off for a while, after which I
found myself face to face with the galoshes of Madam
N’da, the maid. When she opened the door, we
both shuddered with fear, and the next
moment we started screaming, because she hadn’t
expected to run into me there, because
I didn’t remember she was so black. Nor that
he could scream so loudly.
An indescribable mess followed. Everyone
rushed at me, Dr. Düsseldorf,
the head sister, the nurses on duty, as well as all
the maids in the ward. I had thought at
first that they would all take me to the cafeteria, but
seeing that they were rather feeling like they were on their
hats, I realized that it was time to
take advantage of the situation.
– I want Aunt Rose, for Aunt Pink to come.
– But where have you been, dear Oscar? How do you
feel?
– Let Aunt Pink come.
– How did you end up in that closet?
Did someone lock you up there? Did you hear any
noise inside?
– Let Aunt Pink come!
– Drink some water!
– I don’t want to. Let Aunt Pink come.
– Take a sip of…
– I don’t want to. Let Aunt Pink come.
We were made of granite. A granite cliff. A concrete slab
. There was nothing to do with me. I didn’t
even listen to what they were saying. I
wanted Aunt Rose.
Dr. Düsseldorf was as embarrassed
as possible in front of his colleagues by the fact that he had
not the slightest authority over me. In
the end, he had to ask.
– Let someone go and call her!
Hearing this, I finally
consented to get some rest and went to my
room where I slept log.
When I woke up, Aunt Pink was next to
me. He was smiling at me.
– Bravo, Oscar, you’ve
done a nice job! You gave them a great moral slap
. But the result is that they will make me
jealous from now on.
– We don’t care about their jealousy!
“Why do you say that, Oscar?” They are all
nice people. Really very
nice.
– It hurts my elbow!
– And now, tell me, what’s the matter?
“Dr. Düsseldorf told my parents
that I was going to die, and they ran away without seeing
me. I hate them!
And I started to tell her everything, in
detail, like you now, dear God.
“Yes,” muttered Aunt Rose, “that reminds me
of the tournament in Béthune
when I faced Sarah Trosc
Pleosc, someone who greased her body with
oil, as they called her the eel of the ring,
a real acrobat who slipped out of
your hands whenever you tried a grip. He only
accepted to fight in Béthune where
he won the city cup every year.
The problem is that I needed that cup
too!
“And what did you do, Aunt Pink?”
– I had some friends throw
flour on her when she entered the ring.
The oil with the flour turned it into a
breaded schnitzel. So in two strokes and three
movements I sent Trosc Pleosc to the mattress
that has never been seen! After
that, no one called him the eel anymore, but
the breaded zander.
– I don’t really see what I have to do with
this story, Aunt Rose.
– I can see very well. And that is that there is a
solution in any circumstance, Oscar, a
sack of flour is always found somewhere
. You should write to
God. He’s stronger than me.
– Even in wrestling?
– Even. God always succeeds
. Try it, dear Oscar. Take
a day, what did it do to you the worst?
– I hate my parents.
– Hate them so much. Give it your all.
“Are you urging me to do
this, Aunt Rose?”
– Yes, hate them so much. You’re
going to be gnawing at this bone for a while, and after you’ve
finished it, you’re going to realize that it’s not
worth it. Tell all of this to
God in your letter and ask Him to pay you
a visit.
– Does he even move?
– In his own way. Not too often. Even
very rarely.
“Why?” Is he sick?
From her sigh I understood that Aunt Pink did not
want to reveal to me that you, dear God,
are rather paraded with health.
– Didn’t your parents ever
tell you about God, Oscar?
– What about my parents, Aunt
Rose? They are beasts.
– Let’s say. But did
they never tell you about God?
“Yes. Only once, when they told
me that they don’t believe in him, they only believe in
Santa Claus.
– It can’t be done! That’s really how stupid they are,
Oscar, boy?
– You can’t even imagine! The day I
came back from school and told
them that it was enough with the stupidity, that I knew, like
all my classmates, that Santa Claus didn’t
exist, you would have sworn that they had fallen out of the moon.
As I was furious that because
of them all the breath of the school had laughed at
me, they couldn’t find anything better to
say than to swear to me that they had sincerely
believed that Santa Claus existed and that they were
disappointed, as disappointed as possible
, to find out that it wasn’t so!
Two idiots, Aunt Pink, if I tell you!
– Carevasasic, don’t they believe in God?
– No.
– And that didn’t give you food for thought?
– Well, if I waste my time on what all
the idiots think, when can I find time to
find out what smart people think?
– You’re right too. However, once you say that
your parents are idiots…
– And how stupid you are, Aunt Rose!
“So if they, who are idiots, don’t
believe, why shouldn’t you, who are a smart boy
, believe in him, asking him to pay you
a visit?”
– Be it. Yes, it was like you said he was lying in bed?
– Nope. I was saying that he has a special way of
visiting people. He visits them in
his mind. In spirit.
This thing with the spirit made me ready. I
found it very cool.
Aunt Pink added:
– You’ll see, his visit will do you good.
– O.K. I’m going to talk to him. But until
then, the only visits that do
me good are yours, Aunt Rose.
She smiled at me and, almost shyly, bent
down to kiss me on the cheek. But he didn’t dare
to go all the way. It was
as if he was begging for my approval.
– Come on, kiss me, Aunt Pink. I’m not going
to tell anyone. I don’t want to
ruin your reputation as a wrestler in wrestling.
Her lips touched my cheek and that pleased me
, that it was like a heat with some
small and the smell of powder and soap.
“When are you coming, Aunt Rose?”
– I’m only allowed twice a
week.
– Impossible. How am I going to wait three days?
– That’s what the regulation wants.
– Who made this regulation?
– Dr. Düsseldorf.
“When he sees me, Dr. Düsseldorf plays
him, Aunt Rose. Go and ask her
permission to come more often. I’m not kidding,
you know.
He looked at me with a certain hesitation.
– Yes, I’m not kidding. If you don’t come to see
me every day, I don’t write to
God either.
“Well, I’ll try, Oscar.
Aunt Roz left the room, and I
started crying.
I hadn’t realized until then how much
I needed help. I hadn’t realized
until then that I was really sick. The
thought that I would not see Aunt Pink again made
me understand everything and tears began to
burn my cheeks.
My luck that I had time to come
to my senses before it came back.
– That’s it, it’s done! For twelve
days I am allowed to come every day.
– To me and only to me?
“To you and only to you, Oscar, boy,
twelve days.
I don’t understand what grabbed me, but the tears
came over me again and I shook with tears.
At least I knew perfectly well that boys are not allowed to
cry and even less so me who, with my egg head
, don’t look like a boy or a girl, but
rather a Martian. But what to do? It was
impossible for me to stop.
“Twelve days, Aunt Rose?” Am I really that
bad?
And she was a bit spurred by crying. He was
in the balance. It was funny to see how the
former wrestler prevented her
ex-girl from letting go of her tears, and that chased
away my thoughts a bit.
– What date are we today, Oscar?
– What do you mean, on what date, you don’t see
the calendar on the wall? We are on December 19
.
– Through our parts, Oscar, there is a
legend that says that in the
last twelve days of the year you can guess
what the weather will be like in the twelve months
of the coming year. You only
have to observe the weather day by day to be able
to establish the miniature picture of that month
. December 19 therefore represents
the month of January, December 20, February,
and so on until the 31st which
represents the month of December of next year
.
– Really?
– That’s what the legend says. The legend of the
twelve magical days. How about
we play the twelve magical months
? I mean you, that I with the games… Therefore
, starting today, you
should observe each day separately and tell yourself that
it is worth ten years.
– Ten years?
– Exactly. One day equals ten years.
“It would mean that in twelve days
I would be one hundred and thirty years old!”
– That’s right! That would be great, wouldn’t it?
Aunt Pink kissed me – she is starting to like it,
I can see it well – and left.
So, dear God, behold, today I was
born, which I did not realize very
well until lunchtime when
I was five years old; my consciousness developed,
but I cannot say that this would be who knows what good news
; tonight I am therefore ten years old, which
means that I have reached the age of reason.
By the way, I would have a request: when you have
something to tell me, like today at noon, maybe you
can try to do it with a little less brutality, right? Thank you.
I kiss you. See you tomorrow,
Oscar
P.S. And I would like to ask you one more thing. I know
that I am only entitled to one wish a day, but
the above request was not actually a request, but
rather advice.
You should know that I would agree to pay me a visit.
In spirit, I mean. I think it’s a great thing
and I’d love for you to visit me. They receive
guests from eight in the morning until in the evening at nine.
The rest of the time I sleep. Sometimes I fall
asleep even during the day, because of the treatment.
If you happen to fall at such a
time, wake me up without any worries. It would be stupid
not to meet because of an extra moment
of sleep.
Dear God,
Today I lived my adolescence and I have to tell you
that it didn’t go smoothly at all. What a stubbornness
and this adolescence! I had a lot of
trouble with my friends, with my parents and that’s only
because of the girls. I want to tell you that I’m
not sorry at all when I think that I’m
twenty tonight, because that means I’ve
gone through what was harder. Puberty, thanks! Once
, come on from me, but the second time,
don’t even hear!
First of all, I draw your attention, dear
God, that you did not come. I could barely
close one eye all night with these puberty problems
, so there would have been no way I could get rid of you
. And, as I told you before, even if
I sleep, you shake me a little and I wake up.
Aunt Pink had already come when I woke
up this morning. As I was having breakfast,
she told me how she fought Sfinc Regal, a
wrestler from Belgium who swallowed
three kilos of raw meat a day sprinkled with a
barrel of beer. It was said that what the Royal Nipple had most
to fear was the smell of his mouth, because
of the fermentation of beer and meat, so that
he would lay his opponents on the ground only by
blowing them in his face. To defeat her, Aunt Pink was forced
to invent a new tactic: she put on a hood
soaked in lavender water and took the name
of the Executioner of Carpentras. Wrestling, she says
, forces you to have muscles in your brain as well.
– Who do you love, Oscar?
– Here at the hospital?
– Yes.
– Bacon, Einstein and Pop Corn.
– Of the girls, I ask you?
A question that closed my mouth. I didn’t
feel like answering him at all. But Aunt
Pink was waiting, and in front of an international wrestling champion
you don’t really feel
like going crazy for a long time.
– Peggy Blue.
Peggy Blue is the blue girl. The one in
the penultimate room in the corridor. He
smiles all the time, but he hardly talks
at all. You’d say it’s a fairy who stopped in the hospital
to rest for a moment. He suffers from a complicated disease
, that’s why he calls it blue disease, a
thing with blood that, instead of going to
the lungs, goes to I don’t know where, causing the
skin to turn blue. Peggy is waiting for the
surgery that will make her turn pink. I say it’s a pity, it
looks so good blue. There is so much light and
silence around it, that when you
approach it, it is as if you were entering a
chapel.
“Did you tell him?”
– How can I call her, all of a sudden, “Peggy
Blue, I like you”?
– Very good. Why not tell him?
– I wonder if he even knows that I exist.
– Even more so.
“And then, did you ever look at
my face, Aunt Rose?” He should have
a penchant for aliens, which
I wouldn’t really believe.
– I think you’re a handsome boy,
Oscar.
After that, Aunt Pink
ended the conversation. It’s damn pleasant to hear such
words, it makes you tremble, you don’t
even know what to answer.
– I wouldn’t want to like it just because of
my physique, Aunt Rose.
– Take a day, how do you feel about her?
“I’d like to protect her from ghosts.”
– What kind of ghosts? Do you have ghosts here?
– Yes. Every night. They come and wake us up,
I don’t know why. They pinch us and it hurts. And
since you don’t even see them, you’re even more
afraid. Then it’s so hard to fall asleep
again…
“And it often happens to you that these ghosts come to you
?”
– No. I sleep deeply. But I often
hear Peggy Blue screaming in her sleep. I wish
so much to be able to defend it.
“Tell him.”
– But I couldn’t even do that,
the rules forbid us to leave
the room at night.
– What do they, the ghosts, know about the rules?
They have no idea. You just have to be a little
tricky too, when they hear you tell
Peggy Blue that at night you will stay
vigil to defend her, the ghosts will
no longer dare to show themselves.
– Hm, yes…
– How old are you, Oscar?
– I don’t know. What time is it?
– Ten. Carevasica, go for
fifteen years. Don’t you think it’s
time to have the courage of your
own feelings?
At half past ten I made up my mind and
went to the door of his room that was open.
“Hi, Peggy,” I said, “I’m Oscar.”
She was lying on the bed, to swear that she was Snow
White when she waits for the prince to come and those stupid
dwarfs think she’s dead, Snow
White in the photos where the snow looks blue,
so white she is.
He turned to me, and I wondered
if he was taking me for the prince or one of the
dwarfs. I would have ticked “dwarf”, because of
my head, but she didn’t say anything, and that’s exactly what is
great about Peggy that she never says anything and
that everything remains mysterious.
“I have come to tell you that at night, and all
the nights before, I will stand guard
in front of your room, if you want, to protect
you from ghosts.”
She looked at me, blinked, I was like
In a slow-motion movie, the air had
become even more airy, the silence even quieter, I
had the impression that I was walking through the water and that everything
changed when you approached that bed of hers
on which a light fell as if from nowhere.
“Hey, take it slow, Egghead, I’m letting you know I’m
Peggy’s guard!”
Pop Corn was on the doorstep or rather
it was filling it. The thrills passed me by. One thing
was certain, if he stood guard, the safety was
maximum, no ghost could
have escaped to Peggy, having nowhere to go.
Then I glance at
Peggy.
“Isn’t it, Peggy, that you and I
are old friends?”
Peggy was content to look up at the ceiling.
Pop Corn took this as a confirmation and dragged
me out in the aisle.
“If you want a girl, you just have to take
Sandrine, Peggy is already taken.
– By what right?
– By right, I came here before
you. If you don’t like it, all
that remains is to fight.
– It suits me.
I was a bit tired, so I went to
rest some time in the game room. Where Sandrine had just
come. Sandrine has leukemia like
me, but she seems to
succeed in her treatment. She is called the Chinese woman, because
of the black and shiny wig with wiry threads and bangs
that makes her look like a Chinese woman.
She looked at me for a long time and squeezed a
bubble of chewing gum between her teeth.
“You can kiss me if you want.”
– What are you talking about? Gum is not enough for you?
– Well, you wouldn’t even be able to, zero bared! I
put my hand in the fire because so far you
haven’t kissed a girl yet!
– Come on, you’re making me laugh! Find out that at the age of five
I have already kissed a lot of girls,
don’t worry!
– Really, are you fifteen years old?
I look at the clock.
– Fulfilled.
– Since I dreamed of being kissed by a
big one, for five years.
– I think so, it’s tempting! I tell him, giving me
air.
And all I see is that she pulls a face that
you haven’t seen, pursing her lips as if it were
a suction cup stuck to a window, from which I can
only conclude that she is waiting to kiss it.
When I return, all my friends are behind
me, watching my movements. I can’t
back down. It’s time to show that I’m
a man. Now or never.
I approach Sandrine and kiss her. She wraps her
arms around me, I
can’t let go, her mouth is wet and suddenly I find myself
passing the gum she
was chewing on me. Taken unexpectedly, I swallow it on the spot.
I was gripped with anger.
And at the same moment I feel a hand tapping on my
shoulders. Hence the saying that a misfortune
never comes alone: my parents! I had
forgotten that it was Sunday.
“Don’t you introduce us to your friend,
Oscar?”
“She’s not my friend.
– What if? Introduce us to it.
– Sandrine. My parents, Sandrine.
“I’m glad to meet you,” said
the Chinese woman, in a sweet tone.
I would squeeze her by the neck.
– Do you want Sandrine to come with us to
your room?
– I don’t want to. Sandrine has work.
When I got to my room, I
realized that I was a bit tired, so I slept a little.
In fact, I didn’t feel like talking to them…
After I woke up I saw the
gifts that, of course, they had brought me. Since I’ve been
in the hospital, my parents have been bad at
conversation, so they bring me all kinds of games
whose explanatory instructions we read all
afternoon trying to understand how to
play. My father is particularly adept at these instructions
; even if they are in Japanese or Turkish, he
never gets discouraged, stubbornly
trying to figure out their scheme. What’s more, if it’s
a question of ruining a Sunday afternoon, no one
is more skilled than Dad.
Today he brought me a CD player. With that he
closed my fold, I couldn’t reproach him for anything,
although I would have had a lot of appetite.
“Didn’t you come yesterday?”
“Yesterday?” How could it have come yesterday? You know well that we can only
come on Sundays. But why
are you asking?
– Someone saw your car in the parking lot.
– As if there were only one
red jeep in the world. Cars resemble each other.
– Yes, not like parents. Too bad.
With this word I aimed at the place.
I tactically picked up the CD player and played The
Nutcracker twice in a row that I
listened to in front of them from one end to the other. Two
hours in which they didn’t get to say a
word. And well I did.
– Do you like it that much?
– yes. But now I’m sleepy.
They understood that they had to leave. But they
couldn’t stand it. They couldn’t get out of
my room at all. It was clear that he wanted to tell me a
lot of things and they didn’t know how. But I was
glad to see how they

also suffer.Then my mother rushed and hugged
me tightly to my chest, saying to me with laughter:
– I love you, Oscar, dear, I love you so
much!
I wanted to get out of her arms, but at the last
moment I still let myself be kissed, this reminded me
of the good and simple caresses before
, when my mother’s voice was not distressed
when she told me that she loved me.
Probably then I fell asleep a little.
Aunt Pink is the champion of awakenings. Every
time I open my eyes, she just walks through the door. And he
always has a smile for me.
– Well, how was it with your parents?
– Crossed-out zero, as usual. They gave
me the Nutcracker.
– No, right? How curious, I also
had a friend with that name. A
champion to be reckoned with. She would break her opponents
‘ necks by squeezing it between her thighs. And with Peggy
Blue, how are we, did you go to see her?
– Don’t talk to me about Peggy Blue anymore, she’s
engaged to that fat Pop Corn.
– Is that what she told you?
– He.
– Bluff, didn’t you get it?
– I don’t think so. I’m really convinced that he likes
him more than me. It’s more
solid, more reliable.
– When I tell you that he is bluffing! Look, I
, who looked like a mouse in the ring, beat
fighters as big as a whale or a
big hippopotamus. On Plum Pudding,
for example, an Irishwoman, one hundred
and fifty kilos, in her briefs, on an empty stomach,
before the morning Guinness,
her biceps the size of ham, and the
thick flesh that you couldn’t make her around.
Not your waistline, you have nothing to
grab it from. Impathetic, what else!
“And how did you do it?”
– Everything that doesn’t plug rolls.
At first I put her on the run, to tire her
, then I overturned her. They
had to come with the crane to lift it
off the ground. You, Oscar, have a
light bone and you don’t really boast about meat, but
you should know from me that we don’t like it only
as steak and bone, the qualities of
the soul also matter. And you have
qualities of the soul with the cart, boy.
“Me, Aunt Rose?”
“Go to Peggy Blue and tell her
everything you care about.”
– I’m a little tired and…
– Tired? How old are you at this time,
boy? Eighteen? Well, how can you
be tired at eighteen?
She has a way of talking, Aunt Pink, which
seems to recharge your batteries.
When night fell, the
noises sounded deeper into the darkness, and
the linoleum in the corridor shone in the moonbeams.
I walked into Peggy’s and handed her my CD
player.
– Look, listen to the Waltz of the snowflakes. It’s
unspeakably beautiful. So beautiful, that
when I listen to him I think of you.
Peggy listened to the Waltz of the Snowflakes. She
listened to him smiling all the time, as if the
waltz was an old friend whispering all sorts of funny things in his ear
.
Then, giving me back the camera, he said:
– Nice.
It was the first word he spoke. Great,
right?
“And I’d like to tell you one more thing, Peggy
Blue, not to have surgery.” You’re beautiful
like that, blue.
That pleased him, I saw it immediately.
That’s not what I told her, but I was glad she
enjoyed it.
“I’d like you, Oscar, to protect
me from ghosts.”
“It’s counting on me, Peggy.
I was extremely proud. Carevasăzică, I
was the winner!
– Kiss me.
Definitely, the kissing thing is
a necessity for girls, as a kind of necessity. Only
kissing Peggy was something else than
that vicious Chinese girl. He stretched
out his cheek to me and I can say that I also felt a kind of
warmth when I kissed him.
“Good night, Peggy.
– Good night, Oscar.
So this is how today passed, dear
God. Now I understand why adolescence
is also called “ungrateful age”. It’s really not
easy. Luckily, in my twenties, everything is
arranged. So, look, I’m also sending you my wish
for today: I’d like Peggy and I
to get married. I’m not really sure if this
is in the spirit, that is, marriage, and if it’s in
your domain. In other words, I don’t know if you
can fulfill this kind of desire, like
a dating agency, or if I should
go elsewhere. I would ask you to give
me the answer as quickly as possible, so that I know what
to do. I wouldn’t want to rush you, but don’t forget that
my time is limited. So: Oscar-Peggy
Blue marriage. Yes or no. I won’t hide the fact that it would
be great for me to include the article “marriage” in the field you are dealing
with.
I kiss you. See you tomorrow,
Oscar
P.S. What, after all, is your address? That
you still didn’t tell me.
Dear God,
That’s it, I’m married. It’s December 21st
, I’m in my thirties and I’m
married. As for the kids, Peggy and
I decided to leave that for later
. In fact, I think she’s not ready yet.
Things happened last night. Let’s
see…
Around one o’clock in the morning, I hear Peggy
Blue whining. I immediately jumped out of bed.
Ghosts! They had come again to torment her, and I, whom
I had promised to protect her from them, was sleeping. What’s more,
he would realize that I was nothing but an
infinisher, he certainly won’t even want to talk to me
anymore and, rightly so, I deserved it
!
I went out into the corridor and headed in
the direction where the screams were coming from. Arriving at
Peggy’s room, I saw her sitting on the bed,
completely surprised to see me. I, too, must have
made a surprised face at Peggy staring at
me with her mouth shut as
the screams continued to break my ears.
I took a few more steps to the next room
and suddenly I understood that Bacon was
screaming like that, because of the burns. Which caused
me reproaches of conscience, thinking how
I set fire to the house, the dinner, the cat, how I fried
the red fish in the jar – that is, I boiled them,
rather – and how much they had to suffer, and that it was better
that they perished, than to have remained alive and be
terrorized endlessly by the memory of the flames and
burns like poor Bacon, in spite of all
the grafts and poems of all kinds.
Bacon crouched down and stopped
moaning. I went back to Peggy Blue.
“So it wasn’t you, Peggy?” I was convinced
that you were screaming at night.
– And I thought you did.
We were completely amazed by what was happening to
us. Of all that we confessed to ourselves. In reality,
we had been thinking about each other for a long time.
From blue as she was, Peggy Blue has become
even bluer, which for her is as if she is blushing
with embarrassment.
“And now what are you going to do, Oscar?”
“What about you, Peggy?”
It’s amazing how similar we are,
the same ideas, the same questions.
“Wouldn’t you like to sleep with me?”
Whatever you say, the girls are great. Well
, to say such a phrase, it would have
taken me hours, weeks, months, to spin it
in my mind, to prepare it. Whereas Peggy
let it go simply, as if it were the
most natural thing.
– O.K.
And I climbed into bed next to her. We had
to squeeze in a bit, because it was narrow, but it was
a great night. Peggy Blue smells of
hazelnuts and her skin is smooth and velvety, like mine on
the inside of her arms, only it’s the same
all over her body. We slept for a long time, we dreamed,
we held each other tightly in our arms, we told
each other about each other’s lives.
Of course, in the morning, when Mrs
. Gommette, the chief sister, came upon us, an operetta of all splendor was heated
. She started
screaming, the night nurse started screaming too,
they screamed at each other for a while, then
they yelled at Peggy, then at me, the
doors started slamming, they took everyone as witnesses
saying about us that we were “little
unhappy”, while we were as happy as
possible, in the end, luck fell
to Tanti Roz who, in two beats and three movements,
stopped the concert.
“Leave the children alone, do you hear?” Why
are you here to please
the patients or the regulation? I’m doing something about
the rules, so you know! And now
the mouth! Let me not hear you anymore! Go and
argue somewhere else, you’re not in the
locker room here!
No reply! It didn’t work with Aunt Rose.
He took me back to my room and I slept a
bit. When I woke up, we were able to talk
about everything.
– Carevasasic, is the matter between
you and Peggy serious, Oscar?
– Reinforced concrete, Tanti Roz. I’m
overwhelmed. Last night we got
married.
– What do you mean you got married?
– I mean, I did everything a man and a
woman do when they are married.
“You hear them, sir!”
– Well, how? I have – how long is the clock? – Twenty-something
years, from now on I understand to lead my
life as I think, right?
– You see.
“And imagine that all those
things that kind of disgusted me before, when
I was younger, you know, kisses,
caresses, and so on, now
seemed very pleasant to me.
How does man change, right?
– Bravo, Oscar, I’m glad. I love how
you grow.
“I didn’t do one thing, that
kiss with my tongue, Peggy was afraid of
having a child. What do you
think?
“I think Peggy did well.
“Yes?” Can you have babies if you kiss on
the mouth? So would it mean to have one
with Chinezoaica?
– Calm down, Oscar, the chances are small.
Even very small.
Aunt Pink seemed sure of what she was saying and that
really reassured me, because I can
confess to you, dear God, to you and only to you,
that Peggy and I kissed with our tongues, once
, twice, and maybe even several times.
I slept a little. Then I had lunch
with Aunt Rose, after which I started to
feel better.
“It’s terrible how tired I could have been in the morning.
– It’s normal, Oscar, between twenty and
twenty-five years old you go out at night, you
go to all kinds of parties, you lead a scattered life
, it doesn’t even cross
your mind to spare yourself. And there comes a time when
all this pays off. What would you say if I paid
a visit to God?
– Oh, did you find out his address?
– I think we will find him at the chapel.
– Aunt Pink turned me around as if
I was going to the North Pole, he took me in his arms
And we went to the chapel, which is in
the hospital park, on the other side of the
ice-covered lawns, well,
what can I explain to you all this because you only know it
, it’s at your home.
I had a shock looking at the statue
yours, that is, seeing what a state you were in, I mean,
nailed to that cross, half naked, weak, with
his body still only a wound and his head
bloodied under the crown of thorns barely holding on to his
neck. It’s like it was me. That really
outraged me. If I were God, I wouldn’t allow
myself to be treated like this.
– Let’s be serious, Aunt Pink, you’re not going to tell me
that you, a
wrestler, a great champion, believe in
such a thing!
“And why not, Oscar?” Would you be more
confident in a bodybuilder God
, with worked, sculptural muscles,
oiled skin, a haircut on one side
and the latest fashion briefs?
– Well…
– Think, Oscar, who would you feel
closer to as a man, to an insensitive god
or to one who suffers?
– Of course, by the one who suffers. But
if I were God,
if I had all my powers like him,
I would have done so that I would not suffer.
– No one can live without suffering,
Oscar. Neither God nor you. Neither
your parents nor I.
– Okay. Say. But why is it necessary
to suffer?
– There is suffering and suffering. Take a closer look
at His face. Look at Him carefully
. Do you find that he has the air of someone who
is suffering?
– No. It’s really curious. You’d say he doesn’t even
feel the pain.
– Exactly. And that’s because there are two
kinds of suffering – the physical and the
moral. You endure physical suffering. You choose the moral one
.
– I don’t understand.
– If two nails are hammered into your sole, you have
no choice, it hurts, so you suffer. That is
, endure. On the other hand, the idea of death does not
necessarily mean pain. First of all
, because no one knows what death is.
It depends on you, on the meaning you give it
.
“Did you know anyone, Aunt Rose, who
was glad that she had to die?”
– Yes. My mother. On his deathbed there was
only a smile, he couldn’t wait to see what
else was going to happen.
I had nothing more to argue. As I was
curious to find out what followed, I let some
time pass, reflecting on what he told me.
– But you see, Oscar, most
people are completely devoid of
curiosity. They fiercely
cling to what they have like lice to the
bald man’s ear. Take for example Plum
Pudding, my Irish rival, one hundred
and fifty kilos, in the morning with an empty heart,
in my briefs, before Guinness. He always told
me: “Sorry, death is not for me,
I regret it, I didn’t sign anything”. But he was
wrong. Did anyone tell her that life is
eternal? No one, ever. She was the one
who stubbornly believed this. Who
revolted, was furious at the idea that it could
end. In the end he became
depressed, he lost weight, he quit his job,
he barely pulled thirty-five
kilos on the scales, he looked like a fish skeleton
that finally crumbled
. In other words, she died like
everyone else, only the thought of death poisoned her
life.
“You idiot, this Plum Pudding, Aunt
Pink.”
– Stupid as a liver pate, Oscar.
But, you see, goose pate is
very widespread, very common, so to
speak.
I nodded because that was my
opinion.
– People are afraid of death because
the unknown scares them. But after all
, what is the unknown? I would
propose to you, Oscar, not to be afraid, but to
trust. Look at the image of
God on the cross: he endures physical
pain, but morally he does not experience any
suffering because he trusts. And then
even the nails hurt him less. Inside
he always says to himself: it hurts,
but that doesn’t mean it will be bad.
You see, that’s what the
benefit of faith actually consists of. I wanted to make you understand it,
Oscar.
“O.K., Aunt Rose, I’ll try to keep my
confidence when I’m
afraid.
He kissed me. And I said to myself that in the end
it was fine in that empty church, with you,
dear God, who had such a reconciled face
.
After that we came back and slept
for a long time. I’m getting more and more sleepy. It’s like a
hunger. When I woke up, I said to Aunt
Rose:
“You know, in fact I am not afraid of the unknown,
but of the fact that I will lose everything I
know.
“And so do I, Oscar. How about
we call Peggy Blue to have tea with
us?
Peggy Blue took tea with us. She gets along
very well with Aunt Pink, we laughed like a fool when
she told us how she fought with the
Spring Sisters, three sisters who pretended to be one
. After each round, the Springer who had exhausted her
opponent, forcing her to run without
interruption after her, shoved her out of the ring
under the pretext that she was going to pee,
rushed to the toilet where her sister was waiting for her, who entered
the second round fresh and relaxed. And so
on. Everyone was convinced that
the Springer was one and that she was a
tireless fighter. Aunt Rose, however, unraveling
the situation, locked the two replacements
in the toilet, threw the key out the window and
hit the sister she was with in the ring.
Wrestling is a particularly ingenious sport,
in my opinion.
After that, Aunt Pink left.
The nurses watch over Peggy
Blue and me like we’re a pack of
dynamite ready to explode. What the hell, because I’m
not a child anymore, I’m thirty years old too!
Peggy Blue swore that she would
come to me at night as soon as she could; I swore
to her that I would not kiss her with my tongue this time.
Really, it’s easy to have children, but you also need
to have the time to raise them!
So, dear God. I don’t really know what
you’re asking for in the end, because today I had a good day. Oh,
yes! Make Peggy Blue’s
surgery go well tomorrow. Not like mine, you know what I
mean.
I kiss you. See you tomorrow,
Oscar
P.S. Operations not being of the spirit,
maybe you don’t have them in the store. But at least
make Peggy Blue accept the result, whatever it may be.
I’m counting on you!
Dear God,
Peggy Blue underwent surgery today. Ten terrible years
for me. The age
of thirty is not easy at all! It seems to be the age of
worries and responsibilities.
Last night, Peggy Blue could
not come to me because Mrs. Ducru,
the night nurse, remained in her room to
prepare for the anesthesia. The stretcher transported
her to the operating room around eight.
My heart sank to see her in that stroller,
small and thin, she could barely guess through
the sheets.
Aunt Pink held my hand in hers, so I
wouldn’t get angry waiting.
“How is it, Aunt Pink, that this God
of yours allows beings like Peggy and me to exist in
the world?”
– Luckily you exist, Oscar, boy,
the world wouldn’t be as beautiful without you.
– No. You don’t understand me. Why does he
let there be sickness and sickness? Of two one:
either he’s bad, or he’s not really who knows what.

– Oscar, illness is a fact, like death,
not a punishment.
– It is clear that you are not sick!
“How do you know I’m not, boy?”
That closed my fold. I had
never thought that Aunt Rose, who is always
jumpy and attentive to those around her, could also have
her problems.
“You have nothing to hide from me, Aunt
Pink, you can tell me everything. I’m
thirty-two years old, or close,
with cancer and a wife on the operating table,
so you see that life has no secrets
for me.
– How much I love you, Oscar!
“And I have you, Aunt Pink.” Tell me what
problems you have, maybe I could help you.
If needed, I could even adopt you.
“Will you adopt me?”
– Well, didn’t I adopt Bernard when
he told me he was bitter?
“Bernard?”
“Yes, my bear. That one in the closet. Up there
, on the shelf. He’s been my bear since
I was little, look, he’s only got one eye left
, he doesn’t have a muzzle, he doesn’t have a nose, he’s
lost half of his stuffing and his whole
body is full of scars. She looks
a little like you, Aunt Pink. I adopted him the
night when those animals of my parents
brought me a new bear. Listen, to
accept that is, a brand new bear! All they have
to do is accept a brand new
brother if it suits them, that’s all! So I
adopted Bernard. I’m going to bequeath
everything I have. If you want, I’ll adopt you too,
Aunt Rose.
– Of course I do, Oscar. I really think this
will do me good.
– Then, clap your hand, Aunt Rose.
After that we went to search Peggy’s room
, we brought her flowers, chocolate, so that she could find them
there when she returned.
Then I slept. I don’t know what’s going on with
this sleep lately.
At the end of the afternoon, Aunt Pink woke me
up to tell me that Peggy Blue had returned to
her room and that the surgery had been successful.
We went together to see her. Her
parents were already there. I don’t know which of them, Peggy Blue
or Aunt Pink, would have told them about me, but
they seemed to know who I was, they treated me with a lot
of respect, they offered me a chair between the two of them and
so I was able to watch over my wife with
my in-laws.
I was glad because Peggy was still
bluish. Dr. Düsseldorf came to see her
, rubbed his eyebrows and said that in the
next few hours the change would occur. I looked at
Peggy’s mother who is not blue, and I
said to myself that after all my wife, Peggy, only has
to have the color she wants, I will
love her the same.
Peggy opened her eyes, smiled at
her parents and me, and fell asleep again.
The parents had calmed down by now and had
to leave.
“We entrust our daughter to you,” they
said. We know we can count on you.
We wanted to stay, Aunt Pink and
I, until Peggy opened her eyes once
more, and then I went back to my room
to rest.
I realize by concluding this letter
that I had a good day today. A family day. I
adopted Aunt Pink, I got along well with my
in-laws and I found my wife in good health, even
if at eleven o’clock she would turn
pink.
See you tomorrow. Kiss you,
Oscar
P.S. No wish today. You breathe a little more
.
Dear God,
Today I turned forty and then fifty
years old and I did nothing but stupid things.
I’ll tell you quickly that it’s not even worth telling them
otherwise. Peggy Blue is fine, but the Chinese,
sent by Pop Corn who has an offense on me,
came to give her the report that I kissed her on the mouth.
So Peggy Blue told me that everything was over between
me and her. I protested, I
explained to her that the story with the Chinese woman was a
mistake of youth, made long before
I met her, and that she was not
going to force me all my life to redeem my sins.
But she held on. He even
befriended the Chinese woman, just to make
me angry, and I heard them laughing
together.
If I saw it like this, when Brigitte,
the trisomal – one who keeps close to everyone, as is
normal, these trisomics being very affectionate –
came to my room to say hello,
I let her kiss me wherever she wanted.
Which he did, no longer fitting in his skin of
contentment. You would have thought that it was a dog that was
drunk next to its owner. The problem is that Einstein was
in the aisle. And he may have water in his brains, but he doesn’t have salami peels
on his eyes. So he saw everything, and
ran to tell Peggy and
the Chinese woman. The whole floor doesn’t tell me anything other
than the skirt. And when you think that I didn’t even
set foot out of the room!
– I don’t know what got me done with Brigitte,
Aunt Rose…
– The noon demon, what do you want, Oscar. That’s how
men between forty-five and
fifty years old are, they feel the need to put
themselves to the test, to check if they are
still able to please other women than the
one they love.
– Let’s say I’m normal, but that doesn’t
mean I’m not an animal.
– Yes, you are completely normal.
– Yes, but what am I doing now?
– Which one do you love?
“Peggy. And only on it.
– Then tell her. The first couple is
always fragile, subject to oscillations,
but if it’s the one you wanted,
you have to fight for it.
Tomorrow is Christmas, dear God.
Your anniversary, look, I never
made the connection. Please, somehow make me reconcile with
Peggy because, I don’t know if it’s because of her or
not, but I’m very sad tonight and it doesn’t burn
for me anymore.
See you tomorrow. Kiss you,
Oscar
P.S. Now that we’re friends, what would you like
me to give you for your birthday?
Dear God,
This morning at eight o’clock I told
Peggy Blue that I loved her, that I only
love her and that I could not conceive of life without her. She
began to cry confessing to me that I
took a stone from her heart because she loves
me and only me and that she will
never find another one, Especially now that it has
turned pink.
We both started crying when she
said that, but it was a very pleasant cry. I have to
say that I find life as a couple particularly
pleasant. Especially after fifty years when you have
gone through all kinds of trials.
Around ten o’clock I suddenly realized that,
since it was Christmas, I would not be able to eat with
Peggy because all her family—brothers, uncles,
nephews, cousins—would soon
be invading her room, and I would be forced to
put up with my parents. What else
could they offer me? A puzzle of ten thousand pieces? Books in
Kurdish? A box with instructions for use?
My own portrait from when I was
healthy? With two idiots like these, smart as
the garbage can, it was clear that dangers
were on the horizon; for a thousand and one fears I had
only one certainty, and that was that
I was going to spend a Christmas.
I made a quick decision and started
preparing my escape. A little barter: I give all
the toys to Einstein, my
gooseflake duvet to Bacon, the candy to Popcorn
. A little observation: Aunt Pink always
stopped in the locker room before leaving. A small
provision: my parents would not arrive
before twelve o’clock. Everything went smoothly
: at half past eleven Aunt Pink kissed me
wishing me to spend a nice Christmas
in the company of my parents, after which she
disappeared on the floor where the locker rooms are located. I
whistled the agreed signal. Pop Corn, Einstein and
Bacon dressed me one by one and carried me
up to the Aunt Rose’s squirrel, a car
that dates back to before the age of the automobile. Pop
Corn, who opens any frog
in the blink of an eye because he was lucky enough to grow up in a disadvantaged neighborhood
, forced the back door and threw
me on the ground between the two benches. Then
they returned like saints to their rooms
, saying, “I have not eaten garlic, nor
my mouth smells”.
Aunt Pink came after a long time
, got in the car, gave sprays about
ten, five times before starting
the engine and finally we started in a hurry.
These cars from before the
automobile era are brilliant, because they rattle as if
you were flying and shaking, you are shaken in them like at fairs
.
I’m sure Aunt Pink has learned to
drive with a stuntman friend; she has nothing to
do with the taillights, the sidewalks, or
the roundabouts, so sometimes the car gets off
the ground. What more, a tărăboi numaru’ one in
cockpit, the horn almost did not stop, and
as far as vocabulary is concerned, a more favorable opportunity to
you enrich yours even if it was not possible:
As he came to his mouth the enemies who
dared to cut his way, spraying them with
the most terrible insults, which made
me realize once again what a formidable school of life
this wrestling can be.
I had planned that, once I arrived, I would show
up saying to her: “Cuckoo, Aunt Pink”, but the
obstacle course lasted so badly that I
fell asleep on the way.
So, when I woke up, there was darkness, cold, silence around
me, and I was
alone, lying on something wet. For the first time
I thought that maybe I had made a bigger fool
than me.
I got out of the car. It had started to snow.
Nothing to do with The Waltz of the Snow Mushrooms in
The Nutcracker. I was shaking like my teeth jumped
out of my mouth.
I saw an imposing house with the
lights on. I got it in there. But I was barely
walking. To get to the doorbell I had
to make such a jump that the next moment
I collapsed on the doormat.
That’s where Aunt Pink found me.
– But… but… she stammered.
Then he leaned over me, murmuring:
“Dear mother, dear!
Which made me tell
myself that maybe I hadn’t really made a fool of myself.
He carried me in his arms to the living room where
he had made a Christmas tree up to the ceiling that
sparkled with lights. I was amazed to see how beautiful it is
at Aunt Pink at home. After he had
me warm up by the fire, we both
drank a large cup of chocolate. I didn’t doubt that
he wanted to make sure I recovered, before he
took me to the meal. So I was a bit of a drag on it with
the income in my nature, which by the way didn’t even require
me who knows what effort because I really felt
exhausted.
“At the hospital, everyone is looking for you, Oscar. It’s
a state of alert. Your parents, poor people, are
desperate. They notified the police.
– I’m not even surprised. They are stupid enough
to imagine that I will love them more
when, through their care, the handcuffs will be put on
me…
– What are you actually reproaching them for, Oscar?
“They’re afraid of me, Aunt Pink. They don’t have
the courage to talk to me. And the more afraid they are
, the more I have the
impression that I am a saint. Why do they seem so
terrorized? Do I really look that terrible?
I started to stink? Or to become an idiot and
I don’t realize it?
“They’re not afraid of you, Oscar. It’s about sickness.
– The disease is part of me. Why does he have
to behave differently just because he is
sick? Do they only know how to love a
healthy Oscar?
“They love you anyway, Oscar. They told me.
– Do you talk to them?
– Yes. They are jealous that we both get along so
well. No, not actually jealous,
sad. Sad that they don’t succeed too.
I shrugged, but my anger was pretty much
gone by now. Aunt Roz gave me another
cup of chocolate.
“You know, Oscar, one day you’re going to die. But
your parents will die too.
I was extremely surprised to hear this. It
had never crossed my mind.
– They will die, yes. Alone. Carrying in their souls
the terrible remorse of not having known how to
get close to their only child, Oscar,
the light of their lives.
– Stop talking like that, Aunt Rose, I
am bitter when I hear you.
“But don’t you think about their bitterness?”
You understood in advance that you were going to die
because you are a particularly clever boy,
Oscar. But what has escaped
you is the fact that everyone dies.
Your parents too, one day. And so do I
.
– Yes, only I, before everyone else.
– You before everyone. But does that give
you all the rights? Even that of
not thinking about others?
– That’s it, I understand. Call them, Aunt Pink!
That was it, dear God, the
following is short, that it tired my hand. Aunt Pink
notified the people at the hospital, who in turn notified
my parents, who came to Aunt
Rose, where we all spent Christmas.
When they came, I told them:
“Forgive me, I had forgotten that you too would die
one day.
I don’t know what this phrase would have unlocked in them, but
I found them as they had been before and we
spent a Christmas evening with pride.
For dessert, Aunt Pink wanted to see the
midnight service on TV and a recording of
a wrestling match. She says that every year
she reserves a game that she watches before the service
because it strengthens her leg muscles and
because it’s an old habit and because she enjoys it
. So we all looked. Something
formidable. It was Mephista against Joan of Arc! In
a swimsuit and high-heeled boots. What
a mess, as my father used to say, who had turned red in
his face and seemed to suddenly love wrestling.
What fists they could have burned each other’s faces
, it’s unimaginable! I think I would have given
the priest a hundred times to have participated in
this kind of competition. A training thing
, Oscar, boy, said Aunt Rose,
the more punches you take, the more you can
cash. It’s all about keeping your hope.
In the end, Joan of Arc came out victorious,
although at first it would not have been said. That’s what I think you
enjoyed.
By the way, happy birthday, dear God.
Aunt Roz, who just put me to bed in the bed of
her elephant vet son in Congo, suggested that
reconciling with my parents is the most beautiful gift
I could have given you on your birthday. In my opinion,
honestly, such a gift is at the lower limit of
gifts, but if that’s what Aunt Pink who is an
old friend of yours says…
See you tomorrow. Kiss you,
Oscar
P.S. Oh, I was going to forget the wish: make my
parents always like tonight. And I do. We
had a Christmas first, especially with Mefista
and Joan of Arc. He didn’t wear a grudge against me for the job,
he stole my sleep.
Dear God,
I’m sixty years old and I’m paying the bill for
last night’s abuse. Today I’m not really in
shape anymore.
It was a pleasure to go back home, to the
hospital. In old age you don’t really want to
travel, anyway I, for one, don’t feel like
walking the branch.
What I didn’t tell you is that yesterday, at Aunt
Pink, I saw the statue of Peggy Blue. I swear.
Exactly the same, only made of plaster: the same
gentle face, all in blue, on clothes and body.
Aunt Pink claims to be the Virgin Mary, your mother
, if I understand correctly, a Madonna, that is,
inherited from them in the house from generation to
generation. He agreed to give it to me. I
put it at the head, on the bedside table. Anyway, she will also come back to
her one day, since I
adopted Aunt Rose.
Peggy Blue is better. He came to visit me
in a wheelchair. He didn’t think it looked like my statue at all
, but we had a
wonderful time together. We listened
to the Nutcracker holding our hands, as in
the good old days.
I won’t tell you more, because it’s starting to get harder and harder for me
to hold the pen. Everyone in the
hospital is sick, even Dr. Düsseldorf,
because of the chocolate, goose pate,
glazed chestnuts and champagne that
the families have given in massive
quantities to the medical staff. I would be happy for you to pay me a
visit.
I kiss you. See you tomorrow,
Oscar
Dear God,
Today I was seventy, then eighty years old
and I thought about a lot of things.
First of all, you should know that I used the gift from
Aunt Rose, I don’t remember if I told you about
it, a plant from the Sahara that lives its whole
life in one day. As soon as you put the seed in
the ground and sprinkle it, it sprouts, it stems, its
leaves appear and then it makes a flower that produces
seeds, it shakes off, leaves its head down and, hop,
until the evening is over! I think it’s a great gift
and I thank you for inventing it.
I watered it this morning myself, Aunt Pink and my parents
– oh, I don’t know if I told you, they are now
staying at Aunt Pink because she is closer – so I was able
to follow her entire existence. It touched me.
Well, of course, it’s not who knows what flower, it’s rather
frail, and in appearance it doesn’t really beat the record,
poor thing, but, although it doesn’t bring with it any baobab,
it does its job as a big plant, without interruption,
in a single day, before your eyes.
Peggy Blue and I often read from
the Medical Dictionary. It’s her favorite book. She
is passionate about diseases and constantly wonders which
one she will have, later, when she grows
up. I only looked for the
words that interest me: “Life”, “Death”,
“Faith”, “God”. And imagine, you may not
believe me, but they were not there! Of course, if
we were to take it that way, it is a proof that neither life, nor
death, nor faith nor you are diseases
. Which is already good news. Although, in my opinion
, in such a serious book there should
be the answers to the most
serious questions of existence, right?
– I have the impression, Aunt Rose, that in
the Medical Dictionary they have only put
special things, problems that some people may
encounter. But the
things
that concern us all, Life, Death,
Faith, God have been left aside.
– Maybe it would be better to look at the
Philosophical Dictionary, Oscar. Although, in
my opinion, even if you find
the words that interest you, you might
be disappointed. Very different answers are proposed
for each
notion.
– How so?
– The most interesting questions remain
and will remain questions. They maintain
the mystery. Each answer must be
preceded by “maybe”. Only uninteresting
questions can get a definitive answer
.
– Do you mean that there is
no solution to “Life”?
– I want to say that in “Life” there are several
solutions, therefore it has
no solution.
– In my opinion, Aunt Rose, the only solution to
life is to live.
Dr. Düsseldorf came in to see us.
He had his battered dog air again, even more
expressive because of those thick black
eyebrows.
– Are you combing your eyebrows, doctor
? I asked him.
He looked at everyone around him, surprised, looking
like he was asking Aunt Pink and my parents
if they had heard what he had heard. In the end
, he answered with a strangled yes.
– I was also asking, you don’t need to make
that face, doctor. In fact, if we are to
be honest, I want to tell you that, for my part,
I was as fair as possible regarding
the medications, and you also
regarding the disease. So finish with this air
of guilt. It’s not your fault if
you have to give unpleasant news to people
by announcing that they suffer from all kinds of incurable diseases
with Latin names. Relax a little,
relax, what the hell, because only you
are not God the Father. It is
not you who commands nature.
You are nothing but a repairer.
Stop being so tense, doctor,
what the hell, don’t give yourself so much importance,
otherwise you won’t be able to continue this job for a long time
. Just look a little bit at what a fool
you are doing!
As he listened to me, Dr. Düsseldorf
had made a face as if he had swallowed an egg. Then
he smiled at me with a real smile and kissed me
.
“You’re right, Oscar. Thank you for telling me
all this.
“You don’t have to, doctor.
Pleasure is on my side. Come back whenever
you want.
That’s all, dear God. I’m waiting for you to pay me
a visit, don’t forget. Come. Don’t hesitate, even if there are
a lot of people at the time. I’d
really like it, you know.
See you tomorrow. Kiss you,
Oscar
Dear God,
Peggy Blue is gone. She returned home, to
her parents. I’m not stupid not to realize that
I’ll never see her again.
I’m not writing to you anymore, because I’m too sad. Peggy and
I lived a life together, and now I find myself
alone, bald, stiff, and tired in this hospital bed
. Hate old age!
Today I don’t love you.
Oscar
: Dear God,
Thank you for coming. You chose the right
moment, because I wasn’t feeling well at all. Maybe
my letter yesterday offended you a bit…
When I woke up from sleep, I
remembered that I was ninety years old, and I turned my
head to the window to look at the snow.
And suddenly I understood that you were going to come. It was
morning. I was alone on Earth. It was so
early that even the birds were sleeping,
let alone the night nurse, Mrs. Ducru,
who was pulling the needles while you were
working to bring the dawn. It didn’t seem to work out at first,
but you were trying. The sky was fading. You filled
the air with white, gray, azure, enlivening
the world. You didn’t stop for a second. And at that
moment I understood what the difference was between us and you:
you are a tireless guy! Put to work without
interruption. Who is never shy.
Day you want, look at day! Night? Look night! And
spring! And winter! And there’s Peggy Blue! And
look at Oscar! And on Auntie Pink! That’s what I
say iron health!
I immediately realized that you had come. And
that you were revealing to me the secret, your great secret:
look at the world every day as if you were seeing it
for the first time.
So following your advice, I have strived
to implement it. Contemplating the light,
the colors, the trees, the birds, the animals. I
felt the air enter my nostrils making me
breathe. The voices in the corridor came towards me as if
from the vault of a cathedral. And I was alive.
I was trembling with an incomprehensible and pure joy.
That of existing. A joy that charmed me.
Thank you, dear God, for doing
this for me. It was as if you had
taken me by the hand and taken me to the heart of the mystery to
grasp it with my mind. Thank you.
See you tomorrow. Kiss you,
Oscar
P.S. Desire: Could you do
this one more time for my parents? Aunt Pink
I think she already knows it. And for Peggy, too,
if you have some time…
Dear God,
I am one hundred years old today. Like Pink Auntie. I sleep
a little bit, but I feel good.
I try to explain to my parents that life is
a troublesome gift. At first, you tend to overestimate it
, believing that the life you have received
is eternal. Then, on the contrary, you underestimate it,
finding that it is crap, short because you don’t understand
anything about it and that sometimes you would like to
throw away so that it is not seen. It is only towards the
end that you understand that it is not a gift, but a
simple loan. Which you have to try to
deserve. At my hundred years old, I can say that
I know what I’m talking about. The older
you get, the more it is appropriate to have the good taste of
appreciating life. You have to become refined, artist. At
twenty, every moron knows how to enjoy
life, but at one hundred, when you are no longer able to even move
, you must know how to put
your intelligence to work.
I don’t know if I managed to fully convince them
. Pay them a visit. You carry on to
the end what we started. I feel a little tired
.
I kiss you. See you tomorrow,
Oscar
, Dear God,
One hundred and ten years. It’s a lot. I think I started
to die.
Oscar
Dear God,
the little boy died.
I’ll still be a pink lady,
but Aunt Pink I’ll never be again. I was
only for the Oscars.
It ended this morning, when his parents
and I had gone downstairs for half
an hour to have a coffee. He left when we
weren’t there. I think he knowingly waited
for the moment, to spare us. To protect
us from the shock of seeing him die out. Until the
last moment he was the one who watched over
us, and not the other way around.
My heart is heavy. Oscar nestled in it and
I can’t chase him away. I’ll have to swallow my tears until tonight
, I don’t want to compare
my pain with that of his parents, unbearable.
Thank you for allowing
me to meet Oscar. Thanks to him I managed to become
funny, naughty, to invent a lot of
stories, and even to be good at wrestling.
Thanks to him I laughed and I knew joy.
He also helped me to believe in you. I am full of
love, God, it seems that He burns me inside,
He has given me so much, that it will be enough for
all of me years from now on.
Soon,
Aunt Pink
P.S. During the last three days he
lived, Oscar had put a placard at the head of the
bed.
I think you’d be interested to know what it said on it:
“Only God is allowed to wake me up.” ”

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