If we could only be more open to letting as much love flow through our hearts as possible, the world around us would be quite different……
Osho says that in a world full of love, therapy would not be necessary at all.
During one of the meetings with his disciples, Osho was asked to answer the following question:
“Why is hugging such an effective healing tool? Until recently we believed that lucidity, intelligence and self-analysis are the main healing tools, but they mean nothing compared to embracing.”
Here’s his answer:
“Man feels the need to be wanted. This is one of the main needs of the human being. If he does not feel loved, the man begins to die. If he feels that his life doesn’t matter to anyone, he loses significance to himself.
That’s why love is the greatest possible therapy.
The world needs therapy precisely because it lacks love.
In a world full of love, therapy would not be necessary at all; love would be more than enough. Embracing is nothing more than a gesture of love, of warmth, of attention. The simple feeling of warmth coming from the other person can cure many diseases, including evil and the ego. It is enough to turn you back into a child.
Nowadays, psychologists have understood that if he is not hugged and kissed enough, the child cannot grow normally. He lacks a certain type of food. The soul needs nourishment, just like the body. You can fulfill all your child’s physical needs, but if you never hug him, he will not grow up normally. His psyche will not develop. He will always feel sad, neglected, ignored, unloved. He was fed physically, but not affectionately.
The researchers noted that if he is not embraced, the child decreases in size and may even die, even if he is provided with physical food. The body is cared for, but the soul lacks love. It isolates itself, it becomes broken from the existence of the mother.
Love provides this bridge, it is our root.
Just as breathing is essential for the physical body – if we stop breathing, the body dies – love represents the inner breath of the soul. It lives through love.
Lucidity, intelligence and self-analysis are not enough. You can know all the therapies in the world, you can become an expert, but if you do not know the art of love you will only remain on the surface of therapeutic activity.
Out of 100 cases, 90 sick people suffer primarily because they did not have love. Therefore, if the therapist feels a special care for his patient, feeding him with love and fulfilling this need, his condition can miraculously change.
Beyond any doubt, love is the most therapeutic phenomenon that exists.
Sigmund Freud was very afraid of her. Hugging did not even come into question, but he even preferred not to give eyes to the patient, fearing that he would not feel a state of sympathy for him after listening to all his inner complaints and nightmares.
He was afraid not to start crying, not to have his eyes wet, or – God forbid! – not to feel the need to take the patient’s hand. He was so afraid of the love relationship between the therapist and the patient that he invented the psychoanalyst’s couch. The patient had to lie on his back, and the psychoanalyst was sitting on a chair behind him so that he would not have to face him.
But remember: love can only grow face to face. Animals cannot feel this, for they do not know how to make love except behind their backs; therefore, a sense of friendship, a true relationship, cannot be established between them. Once the sexual intercourse is over, everyone goes to his business, separately, without a thank you or a goodbye! Animals have not been able to create families, friendships, a society, for the simple reason that when they make love they do not look each other in the eye, they do not stand face to face. As if their amorous act were a mechanical act. It contains no human element.
Man has created an entire universe of relationships for the simple reason that he is the only animal that makes love face to face. The partners’ eyes communicate with each other, their facial expressions become a subtle language. In this way, intimacy increases, relying on the sharing of emotions, so intense in such moments (joy, ecstasy, orgasm-specific brilliance).
Therefore, it is better to make love on the light, not in the dark—at least in a weaker light, such as that of a candle. The amorous act in the dark still expresses our animal side, the desire to avoid the face of the other.
Sigmund Freud was very afraid of love; in fact, he feared his own repressed love. He was afraid of getting involved. He wanted to stay outside, not to get involved in his patient’s soul, to be just a scientific observer, detached, cold, at a distance. He created psychoanalysis as if it were a science. In reality, it is not a science and it will never be! It is an art, being much closer to love than to logic.
A true psychoanalyst is not afraid to penetrate deep into the soul of his patient; on the contrary, he is willing to take this risk. Indeed, the waters are murky there, you can easily drown – after all, you are a man too! Who knows what troubles you can get over, but you have to take that risk.
That’s why I love Wilhelm Reich so much. This man transformed the entire psychoanalysis through his involvement. He gave up the man’s detachment from science. That is why I consider him a much bigger revolutionary than Sigmund Freud. Sigmund Freud remained a traditionalist, frightened by his own repressions.
If you do not fear your own repressions, you can be of great help to your fellows. If you are not afraid of your own subconscious, if you have solved your personal problems at all, you can get involved in the inner world of the patient, becoming a participant in it, rather than a simple detached observer.
I understand the fear of Sigmund Freud, that psychoanalysts also have their problems, sometimes greater than those of their patients. Therefore, I want to make a statement as categorical as possible: if the man is not fully awakened, an enlightened man, he cannot be a true therapist.
Only a Buddha can be an authentic therapist, because he no longer has personal problems to solve. He can fully merge with his patient. In fact, for him the patient does not even represent a patient.
This is the difference that exists between the relationship between a patient and his therapist and the one that exists between a disciple and his master. The disciple is not a patient, he is the beloved child of the master. The Master is not merely an observer; he becomes a participant. The two lost their separate entities and became one. This unity is the whole secret.
That’s why you’re right. You ask me, “Why is embracing such an effective therapeutic tool?”
Yes, it is, and it is just a gesture. If it is extremely authentic – if it is attended by the heart as well – it becomes a magical instrument, a kind of miracle that can instantly transform the whole situation.
Not much can be said about this gesture, but one of the things you need to understand is the following: the idea that a child dies, and in man the teenager is born; that the adolescent dies, and in him the young adult is born; that he also dies, and in man the mature adult is born, and so far away – it is wrong.
The child never dies – no stage dies. The child remains forever, surrounded by other experiences, adolescence, then youth, adulthood and old age, but does not die.
Man is just like a nape, made up of several successive layers. If you peel the onions, you will soon discover the tender sheets inside. The closer you get to the core, the more tender they become. The same is true of man: if you penetrate deep inside him you will always discover the innocent child, and contact with him is inevitably a therapeutic gesture.
Hugging allows for such contact. If you embrace a man with warmth, with love, if your embrace is not a simple gesture emptied of meaning, but an authentic one, if your heart participates in him, you immediately come into contact with the innocent child in him. Its return to the surface represents an act with immense therapeutic value, since the innocence of the child is healing in itself. It was not corrupt. You have thus reached the pure core of the person in whom corruption has never penetrated, and this is enough to trigger the healing process.
Children are so pure, so full of vitality, they overflow with so much energy. Finding this energy is enough to heal man. The important thing is to bring this child to light, and hugging is one of the most effective ways.
Self-analysis is a mental path; embracing is the way of the heart. The mind is the cause of all diseases, while the heart is the source of every healing.””