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<>We live in a world that has forgotten what love is…
If we could only be more open to letting as much love flow through our hearts as possible, the world around us would be quite different……
Osho says that in a world full of love, therapy would not be necessary at all.
During one of the meetings with his disciples, Osho was asked to answer the following question:
“Why is hugging such an effective healing tool? Until recently I thought that lucidity, intelligence and self-analysis are the main healing tools, but they mean nothing compared to hugging. ”
Here’s his answer:
“Man feels the need to be wanted. This is one of the main needs of the human being. If he does not feel loved, the man begins to die. If he feels that his life does not matter to anyone, it loses its meaning even for himself.
That’s why love is the greatest possible therapy.
The world needs therapy precisely because it lacks love.
In a world full of love, therapy would not be necessary at all; love would be more than enough. Hugging is nothing more than a gesture of love, warmth, attention. The simple feeling of warmth coming from the other person can cure many diseases, including colds and ego. It is enough to turn you back into a child.
At present, psychologists have understood that if he is not hugged and kissed enough, the child cannot grow normally. He lacks a certain type of food. The soul needs nourishment, just like the body. You can meet all your child’s physical needs, but if you never hug him, he will not grow normally. His psyche will not develop. He will always feel sad, neglected, ignored, unloved. He was fed physically, but not emotionally.
<>The researchers noted that if not hugged, the child decreases in size and may even die, even if physical food is provided. The body is cared for, but the soul lacks love. He isolates himself, he becomes cut off from the mother-existence.
Love provides this bridge, it is our root.
Just as the breath is essential for the physical body – if we stop breathing, the body dies – love is the inner breath of the soul. He lives by love.
Lucidity, intelligence and self-analysis are not enough. You can know all the therapies in the world, you can become an expert, but if you don’t know the art of love, you will only remain on the surface of therapeutic activity.
Out of 100 cases, 90 sick people suffer primarily because they did not have love. Therefore, if the therapist feels special care for his patient, nurturing him with love and fulfilling this need, the latter’s condition can change miraculously.
Beyond any doubt, love is the most therapeutic phenomenon that exists.
Sigmund Freud was very afraid of her. The hug was not even out of the question, but he even preferred not to meet the patient, fearing that he would feel a state of sympathy for him after listening to all his complaints and inner nightmares.
She was afraid that she would start crying, that her eyes would get wet, or – God forbid! – not to feel the need to take the patient’s hand. He was so afraid of the love relationship between therapist and patient that he invented the psychoanalyst’s couch. The patient had to lie on his back, and the psychoanalyst was sitting on a chair behind him so that he would not have to face him.
<>But remember: love can only grow face to face. Animals cannot feel this, because they only know how to make love behind their backs; Therefore, a feeling of friendship, a true relationship, cannot be established between them. Once the sexual act is over, everyone goes about their business, separately, without a thank you or goodbye! Animals have not managed to create families, friendships, a society, for the simple reason that when they make love they do not look into each other’s eyes, they do not stand face to face. As if their love act were a mechanical act. It does not contain any human element.
Man has created an entire universe of relationships for the simple reason that he is the only animal that makes love face to face. The partners’ eyes communicate with each other, their facial expressions become a subtle language. In this way, intimacy increases, based on the sharing of emotions, so intense in such moments (joy, ecstasy, the glow specific to orgasm).
<>Man needs privacy; This is an essential need.
Therefore, it is better to make love in the light, not in the dark – at least in a weaker light, such as that of a candle. The amorous act in the dark still expresses our animal side, the desire to avoid the face of the other.
Sigmund Freud was very afraid of love; in fact, he feared his own repressed love. He was afraid of getting involved. He wanted to stay outside, not to get involved in his patient’s soul, to be just a scientific observer, detached, cold, at a distance. He created psychoanalysis as if it were a science. In reality, it is not a science and never will be! It is an art, being much closer to love than to logic.
A true psychoanalyst is not afraid to penetrate deep into the soul of his patient; on the contrary, he is willing to take this risk. Indeed, the waters are murky there, you can easily drown – after all, you are a human too! Who knows what troubles you may encounter, but you have to take this risk.
That’s why I love Wilhelm Reich so much. This man transformed the entire psychoanalysis through his involvement. He gave up the detachment of the scientist. That’s why I consider him a much greater revolutionary than Sigmund Freud. Sigmund Freud remained a traditionalist, frightened of his own repressions.
If you are not afraid of your own repressions, you can be of great help to your fellow men. If you are not afraid of your own subconscious, if you have solved your personal problems to some extent, you can get involved in the patient’s inner world, becoming a participant in it, not just a detached observer.
I understand Sigmund Freud’s fear, because psychoanalysts also have their problems, sometimes bigger than those of their patients. That is why I want to make a very categorical statement: if man is not fully awakened, an enlightened one, he cannot be a true therapist.
Only a Buddha can be an authentic therapist, because he no longer has personal problems to solve. He can fully merge with his patient. In fact, for him the patient does not even represent a patient.
This is the difference that exists between the relationship between a patient and his therapist and that which exists between a disciple and his master. The disciple is not a patient, he is the beloved child of the master. The Master is not merely an observer; he becomes a participant. The two lost their separate entities and became one. This unity is the whole secret.
<>The hug is just a gesture that reminds us of unity, but even this gesture is very useful.
That’s why you’re right. You ask me, “Why is hugging such an effective therapeutic tool?”
Yes, it is, and it’s just a gesture. If it is extremely authentic – if the heart participates in it – it becomes a magical instrument, a kind of miracle that can instantly transform the whole situation.
Not much can be said about this gesture, but one of the things you need to understand is the following: the idea that a child dies, and in man the adolescent is born; that the adolescent dies, and in him the young adult is born; that he also dies, and in man the mature adult is born, and so on – it is wrong.
The child never dies – no stage dies. The child remains forever, surrounded by other experiences, by adolescence, then by youth, maturity and old age, but he does not die.
Man is just like a nape, made up of several successive layers. If you peel the onion, you will soon discover the tender leaves inside. The closer you get to the core, the more tender they become. The same is true of man: if you go deep inside him, you will always discover the innocent child, and contact with him is inevitably a therapeutic gesture.
Hugging allows for such contact. If you embrace a person warmly, with love, if your embrace is not a simple gesture empty of meaning, but an authentic one, if your heart participates in it, you immediately come into contact with the innocent child in him. Its return to the surface is an act of immense therapeutic value, since the child’s innocence is healing in itself. It was not corrupt. You have thus touched the pure core of the person in which corruption has never penetrated, and this is enough to trigger the healing process.
Children are so pure, so full of vitality, they overflow with so much energy. Finding this energy is enough to heal man. The important thing is to bring this child to light, and hugging is one of the most effective ways.
Self-analysis is a mental path; Hugging is the way of the heart. The mind is the cause of all disease, while the heart is the source of all healing.”
Text: Osho