I started meditation in the observer state.
Before I started I set out to experience “The State of Being” – I didn’t know exactly how it was supposed to be, I was very careful about the teacher’s explanations but at the end he said we had to “catch” ourselves… So I didn’t think anything and Let it happen… accepting in advance and the possibility that I will not “catch”…
Over the years I have learned to be patient in meditation and not to focus too much on the result, because that’s when I get stuck and I can’t get into a deep state…
So I’m enjoying the Observer State, which I assimilate to the state of Witness, the one in which I am in the middle of the hurricane, untouched by anything that is happening around me, a state of perfect detachment and fullness at the same time… Time flows … space changes… I’m like a rock…
I think I was more tired than usual and I noticed that in these cases it includes me as a “wander of thought” that is beneficial in meditation, because the mind is silent… or I don’t hear it anymore…
… suddenly I was touched by a state… which I immediately translated as sadness and the mind instantly began to wonder:
why?,… from what?… but very quickly I remembered his words:
“let thoughts, emotions pass by you, the main attention remains in the heart, observe them only with secondary attention…
… so the mind shut up…
… then came another state… despair…
… Then… Joy…
… Despair…
… mood for life…
… Amazement…
… Freedom…
… Harmony…
… Nostalgia…
… Compassion… Love…
… a lot of emotions, thoughts, moods… Bad… Good… Positive… negative, beautiful… ugly…….after all, I haven’t even evaluated them…
… they all touched me for a moment, but they didn’t overwhelm me, then there were others and others…
… And I thought I’d stop them all there, in my heart… what could be?…
…… Lord… all those experiences were crammed into me… And I could access each one as if a huge fan had unfolded in my heart, or I could feel the state of having them all at the same time…
… Fantastic… a wonderful state of presence and awareness at the same time…
… And that’s when it occurred to me that I could choose a state… how would I like to get out of meditation?
… Pai… with joy…! … And that’s exactly what I did…
… I chose The Joy from the bundle of emotions in my heart…